Semi-Raw, A 100% Raw Foodist's foray into eating cooked food

I haven’t written anything new in my blog since I left to go to the Raw Spirit Festival; that was Thursday, October 11. I’ve been back since Saturday, October 20, and today is Monday, October 29, 2007. Initially, I didn’t write because I wanted to take a break and enjoy the festival without it feeling like work. When the festival ended and I continued my vacation in Sedona -wow, it was beautiful- I, after 586 days of eating 100% raw food, began to include some cooked food in my diet. This was no small decision and it was a decision made with prior heart to heart discussions with a few people that I turn to for guidance and support. Though the experience has not been out of control or a secret, it’s really rocked my world and I haven’t known exactly what to write about it. I’ve been procrastinating blogging about raw food because of what I’ve been eating and I’ve felt that I let go of a major part of my identity with my recent foray into eating cooked food. This morning as I was writing a letter to my cousin Maxie, two things became clear to me, what I want to write regarding my recent experience with semi-raw life, and, that I feel ready to write openly about it.

Some specific recent experiences have influenced my current state of affairs with raw food life. One of these was my beach reading during the last toasty lazy days of September and October beach weather on Long Island. I happened onto a copy of Under the Tuscan Sun, by Frances Mayes. It’s a beautiful book and Mayes captures the beauty and local spirit of Tuscan Italy. The light narrative is earthy as she relates her experiences with restoring her newly purchased old farm house and its neglected olive, fruit, and nut trees. As Mayes writes about the ups and downs of the work, she weaves into her story descriptions of local food, gardens, fruit stands, and preparing simple meals with the freshest local ingredients-frequently home grown. Food definitely takes a starring role in the story; progressively so, to the point that Mayes seems obsessed with food. At times, Maye’s obsession becomes tiresome, and while reading I observed myself responding with an internal “Oh, here she goes again, another description of another delicious recipe, and where it came from, and where she collected the fresh ingredients, and how she prepared it--ho hum!” I began to just quickly skim through these sections to get to the good stuff. For me the good stuff was her description of the beauty of a way of living that is connected to the earth. Mayes colorfully describes a life and locale where people observe the sun rise and set, grow their own food, and share earthy wisdom that accumulates in the combined consciousness of a people that live in the same place generation after generation. Mayes writes of a timelessness and poignant beauty that exists there:

‘At the frutta e verdure, it is the same, the same white peaches at the end of July. The figs that are perfect now and overripe by the time I get them to the kitchen. Apricots, a little basket of rising suns, and bunches of field lettuces still wet with dew. “From my garden this morning” [I hear] when Maria Rita holds up the melon for me to smell the fruit’s perfume and her clean hand so often in the earth. She doesn’t get much rest. People shop here for her cascades of laughter, as well as for the uncompromising quality of her produce. She’s open six and a half days a week, plus she cares for a garden. By eight, she’s smiling, washing down her stoop, wiping a speck off a pyramid of gargantuan red peppers.

We shop here every day. Every day she says “Guardi, signori,” and holds up a misshapen carrot that looks obscene to her, a luscious basket of tomatoes, or a cunning little bunch of radishes. Every garlic head, lemon, and watermelon in her shop has been lavished with attention. She has washed and arranged. She makes sure her best customers get the most select produce. If I pick out plums (touching is a no-no in produce shops and I sometimes forget), she inspects each, points out any deficiency she detects, mumbles, takes another. Each purchase comes with cooking tips. You can’t make minestrone without bietola; chard is what makes minestrone. And toss in a heel of parmigiano for flavor. Just melt these onions for a long time in olive oil, a dash of balsamic vinegar, serve them on bruschetta.’

In Mayes’s Tuscany can the figs be any more perfectly ripe? Can the tomatoes be more lush? As I read Mayes’s account, old questions began drifting into my consciousness. Is eating a bowl of freshly homemade minestrone so bad? How bad is it to eat some home grown organic tomatoes sautéed in olive oil from home grown olives? Is eating a slice of rustic homemade bread topped with honey from a local organic farm’s beehive so horrible? The answer is that each of these foods is perfectly okay. The biggest problem with modern day conventional cooked food is that it’s laden with chemicals, poisons and additives, and it’s been removed so far far away from the earth, from life and living. For the record, I’m not naively romanticizing cooked food; I recognize that cooked food made from even the most fresh organic ingredients has been altered chemically by heat and thus exposes the consumer to new compounds which the body responds to as out of place foreign substances. But also, isn’t there something to be said for the nourishment in the mindful organic cultivation of the earth and in the loving preparation of simple food?

As I commenced with this self examination regarding my reasons for adhering to a raw food diet I began to look forward to the upcoming Raw Spirit Festival. Just days prior to going to the festival, I made a decision to introduce some cooked food into my diet when and if I felt okay about it and if I felt I could do it without beating up on myself. What was clear is that I didn’t want to feel rigid in my adherence to eating 100% raw. I also began to feel that it is important for me to cultivate a greater sense of ease and flexibility in the living of my life. I don’t think that being a raw foodist has to be a struggle and loosening my sometimes white knuckled grip on eating 100% raw might not be a detrimental thing.

The Raw Spirit Festival was a big disappointment. I arrived feeling very excited about being there but the excitement quickly dissipated. Immediately, the entire event felt like a circus; this was not what I had been looking forward to. There were four main areas for speakers and presentations and there was practically never a moment when something was not going on at all four spaces simultaneously. For me, there was a notable absence of down time, community building, and reflection.

The food served at the festival was technically raw but not satisfying. It was recipe raw food— a lot of processed, dehydrated, complex combinations, loaded with salt and seasonings. Meal after meal these selections were doused with highly seasoned spicy raw dressings and efficiently served on a skimpy bed of mixed greens. Being someone who eats lettuce by the head rather than by the leaf, this was far from satisfying. The dehydration and the salt just left me craving more and feeling very thirsty. There was a separate table for the children that included some fresh whole pieces of fruit but the festival staff watched it like hawks and shooed the adults away. In my opinion we’d all have been better off if the children’s menu had been the sole menu for the entire festival.

There were countless dozens of vendors at the festival, and with one exception, I didn’t see any of them offering fresh whole ripe raw food. The exception was The Date People who were selling fresh dates. Otherwise, the festival was a conglomeration of vendors hawking powders, supplements, soaked dehydrated salted nuts, chocolate beans, chocolate candy, chocolate powder, crackers, clothing, printing services, CD’s, equipment, books, DVD’s, tasteless dehydrated granola, meditation aids, lotions and potions. Most of these things, on their own, aren't all bad, and individually, most have at least some merit, but the festival was missing some important elements. Where was the RAW in the Raw Spirit Festival?

While I was there I realized that I had been looking forward to more of a retreat environment; this wasn’t it. A festival is a festival and a retreat is a retreat. My most memorable moments at the festival had nothing to do with raw food. On Sunday, the last day of the festival, I celebrated my birthday and the memorable activities included an off-site hike with boyfriend Michael, Bermuda Lane, New York Lesa, and Florida David in the red rock hills of Sedona; a tension relieving fight with Michael that was mostly fueled by our mutual dissatisfaction with the festival; participating in an impromptu drumming circle; my friends singing “Happy Birthday” at sunset; and finally, dancing outside under the stars to music played by a live band. Happiness does not depend on food.

The best food I ate in Sedona was what I purchased additionally on my own at the local organic grocery store, The New Frontier. There I filled my cart, and later my belly, with the most delicious fresh organic Arizona dates, juicy Bartlett Pears, sweet succulent grapes, and of course, heads of crunchy cool Romaine lettuce.

I was relieved when the Raw Spirit Festival was over and I didn’t have to keep hoping for a fulfilling experience that was to never happen. I was very disturbed to hear that a so called leader of the Raw Food Movement publicly denounced and ridiculed Dr. Douglas Graham , calling him "dangerous." Word has it that the Raw Spirit Festival organizers denied Dr. Graham’s application to participate in the festival.

Also disturbing, was hearing David Wolfe criticize the late Herbert Shelton and sardonically announce that “Shelton never had a 100% raw day in his life unless he was fasting.” This may or may not be true; I don't know.  I do know that Dr. Shelton refused to give in to the profit driven machine that has become our fear mongering modern medical system, but instead he inspired tremendous advancement of the raw food oriented wellness movement.  Dr. Shelton tirelessly promoted the laws of nature, real, tried and true.  He never sold out to the profit driven mentality whose mantra is that we can't be healthy unless we purchase the newest bean, root, powder, or potion from some far away part of the world.  If the Raw Spirit Festival represented what raw food life is about, then I don’t think that’s the direction I want to go in.

After the festival we spent a week in Arizona and went on vigorous hiking and biking excursions in the canyons, cliffs, and valleys around Sedona. The sunshine and crisp clean air was a delicious replacement for the nourishment that I had hoped for at the Raw Spirit Festival. We spent four days at the Enchantment Resort located in Boynton Canyon and it was here that I let myself enjoy eating cooked food. Since then, about every other day I’ve eaten at least one cooked meal. I’m sticking with my plan of eating three meals a day and I’ve still been eating predominately raw food. On most days my first two meals have been large meals consisting solely of fresh sweet fruit or leafy greens and my evening meal has included a sweet fruit possibly followed by some cooked selections. On a few days, I’ve eaten a cooked breakfast from a local diner--a cheese omelet, potatoes, and toast.

I’ve enjoyed what I’ve been eating; however, it has not been a conflict free experience. Over the past couple of years my identity has been increasingly connected to being a 100% raw foodist and a leader, someone who people come to for support and advice regarding raw food. I’ve been developing professional interests related to raw foodism and have derived part of my income from raw food related work. So, who am I and what am I about in this world if I am not eating 100% raw food? What will my blog consist of if I’m not eating only raw food? Up until now, it has been focused on what my daily raw diet consists of. I don’t feel excited to write about the cold sesame noodles that I ate from the Chinese take out last night, and besides, what aspiring raw foodist wants to read about cold sesame noodles, vegetable dumplings, or a cheddar cheese omelet accompanied by a cinnamon raisin bagel?

My belief and conviction that a 100% raw food diet is ideal for optimal health has not waned. If anything, it’s been strengthened as I observe, in my own body, symptoms related to eating cooked food. These symptoms have so far been limited to an ongoing moderately stuffy and runny nose and mild discomfort and stiffness in my knees when I climb the stairs to my fourth floor apartment. During this recent interval of eating cooked food I’ve continued my regular yoga practice and I have spent a lot of time outdoors getting vigorous exercise. I feel certain that this has helped mitigate the negative affects I would have otherwise experienced.

In spite of my conflicting feelings about the cooked food I’ve been eating recently, I feel more clarity and conviction than ever before about two things. First, that eating whole fresh unprocessed sweet juicy fruit and succulent vegetables meets our physiological need for nourishment; it is an essential component of a health; and probably, because of this, it is naturally and strongly appealing to our senses. Secondly, eating the flatulence inducing highly processed dehydrated salted but technically raw and unnaturally stimulating food that has become the fad and focus of most raw food diets and commercial interests (and festivals) is not optimal for health, leaves one feeling hungry and thirsty, and merely replaces the compulsive and addictive eating of one type of food with another. Since this recent shift in my eating habits, I haven’t craved any processed and salted raw food. I’ve been turned off at the thought of eating it and I’d rather eat the real thing that it’s attempting to imitate. Mostly, I have been keenly aware of the appeal of eating fresh whole fruit and greens.

I don’t know where I’ll go with my blog and raw food work. I know that I don’t have to be perfect to have something to offer. Maybe for now, reporting on what I eat will take a back seat to just sharing my observations about raw foodism and raw food activities. Maybe I’ll put the food log at the end of the blog entry rather than at the beginning. Maybe I’ll have the courage to continue to disclose what I eat, raw or not, and just share the process. Clearly, I have a lot of questions about where this is going. I’m trusting that the answers will come.